(SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. On which note - "Marriage is about trust not tryst": I like that saying. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. He has assignments at different sites, and for the last four weeks he has been at the same place. reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. I am biased and do hold strong views because my XH cheated. Ill bet you got drunk on purpose because you wanted to kiss him/her.. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. I don't know if he wants to still be friends with her on FB or not. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. For the last two years have read a lot about infidelity. Yet obviously (action of posting on a forum after having pulled the snog plug) you don't like that bit. I went to a party with friends last night and I kissed someone.. As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. Hi SoulMate! It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. Sums it up nicely. But I can't leave my job. [3] you couldn't extend to him the same courtesy he'd already extended to *you* (i.e. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. All of sudden my guy friend stopped texting me good morning and good night Im a guy and i had sex with my guy bestfriend drunk. That was crazy' and other awkward things. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. It was such a weird experience. Or do I? So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. Is Flirting Cheating? 5 Signs That It Is - Psych Central I was drunk, I kissed another guy and I'm so ashamed. I really love my Its more like an excuse for cheating. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. Do you want to end you marriage? "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. Is Having Feelings for Someone Else While Married Normal? That's a lot to take in. I could tell that he had a thing for you. I'd never be able to get over it. Actually I really don't have any experience at all. However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. One day, he came over with a bottle of whisky and he had already been drinking. I believe that over time this would have happened with or without the wiskey. Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. Confide in someone you trust. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. Houston? Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! I knew you liked him/her. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. Foxie: There was something missing in my marriage. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. Relationships are about trust, first and foremost. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. He is a good person and a good husband and I love him very much. 4 days ago. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Except with other truth-seekers. Nah Don't say a word about it. (SK, that award doesn't exist. Please help. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. Keep it to yourself. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. Hey all. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. This is what I'd do because my relationship with my husband is stellar and we both want to keep it that way, and it's such precisely BECAUSE we're this 24/7 honest and transparent with each other (Speak-Your-Thoughts machines). There is more going on. female However from what I've read passionate kissing lead to touching, petting,etc. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. I've gone to a couple thread's here recently. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). "then the cheeky ugger only went and bloody kissed me, didn't he! Good luck. Look at your first kiss after divorce as a new beginning, a new chapter. I can't stop playing it over again and again. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. 2. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Lee.. you are too funny. / Dyathinkhesaurus? My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Or run away? I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. With the other woman just across the room! ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. get into counselling. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. by Lucy Moore for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Because just as everyone else is saying, if you did the RIGHT thing, you shouldn't feel guilty. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. The other day, I had a first with my partner Flo: I put my tongue in another mans mouth while he stood by only to observe. I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. I told him later that I thought it was misunderstood and apologized. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Not work you put off until 'tomorrow' - TODAY. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. Lol I love you already. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. Please leave me a comment. Shes said thats it. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. 3. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. And a stitch in time saves nine. She said this is how it starts. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. What did she say? response. ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! If it were my husband, I would be upset too, because that would be so out of character for the man I know. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. If I were the husband and some how found out through a second party my trust would be broken. ;-) But the guilt is killing me. Many people who get drunk become more amorous, and if our significant others arent with us at the time of our drinking binge, we might be inclined to kiss or even have sex with someone else because were not playing with a full deck when were drunk. I Feel Guilty About Kissing Someone | Relationship Talk So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? Tell your husband. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. Remind her of your good points. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. Im also pleased that you agreed with my argument as to when to fess up and when to keep your mouth shut. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. That left just me, the man and another woman. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. Secrets have no place in a marriage. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? You can't fake that . Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. I have no idea who the girl is. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. Well as far as my experience with sex,I would definitely say I'm not an expert. if you believe you have to tell him exactly as you did here , if your friends you were with are also his say he can ask them . I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. End of story. You just never, ever know. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. Thank you. One is your marriage, the other is a relationship with a married man with family. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. Once was after we'd had a bit of a heavy talk earlier, and the other two were after we dropped one of the little ones off at the grandparents and he started talking about if it gets easier to leave a child (ie when you have weekend contact and you have to drop the child back off at the end of it.). 3 Ways to Keep Guilt From Ruining Your Relationships So if life hands you lemons, don't HIDE them where they could one day trip you up or cause a rotten stink. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. Other way around. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. Oh, I see. Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. Better safe than sorry. He deserves to know. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. It's where the lips have been and where they're going.