Especially that pimp! What's your name, MacFuck? Your desires. Finally, the Withnail And I script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Richard E. Grant movie. How infinite in faculties! They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Got a bit carried away. Marwood: These aren't mine, they belong to him. Withnail: I can't take aspirins without a drink. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. Withnail: I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Marwood: St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables] Danny: One of us has got to stay on guard. Monty: What's in your hump? They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. Rejuvenate. It's you he wants. Withnail: It's got to warm up. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Monty: They dont like me being on stage. You never discuss your family do you? Sort of said it without thinking. Hurry up, Mabs. Let him get his drugs out. You merely imagined it. Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. How you feel. Withnail: Tea Shop Proprietor: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. It'll pass. Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail and I : r/movies - reddit.com This suit was cut by Hawke's of Savile Row! Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. Why didn't I get any soup? My brain's capsizing. You're looking very beautiful, man. And now I'm calling you one. The movie, which ta. He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. Find your neutral space. I could take double anything you could. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". Withnail is cowering under the covers]. I want something's flesh! Marwood: How noble in reason! And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! [while high on drugs] Don't get uptight with me, man. Withnail: Well neither have I. You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" Flowers are essentially tarts. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. How infinite in faculties! He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. I've absolutely no interest in yours. Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. How like an angel in apprehension! 'He used to pick on me. Marwood: (Voice-over) Speed is like a dozen transatlantic flights without ever getting off the plane. That's a very good idea. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. He used to pick on me. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. You'll have to find us first. Yes, you are! It is called a Camberwell Carrot. Monty: Monty: Danny: Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Come on, old boy. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave oerhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. It'll pass. This ain't fancy dress." [holding up a pill] Balls! His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! [the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Danny: Old suit? the web and also on Android and iOS. What do you want in here? Why can't I have an audition? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Withnail: Have you either of you got shoes? The carrot has mystery. Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. This is ridiculous. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry - neither did they. Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Do as he says. You got a rush. Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. You lead him astray. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! Withnail: Matter. withnail magazinweb. Hello? Be seated. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Talk:Withnail and I. It can utilise up to 12 skins. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? Withnail: I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Marwood: Well, I don't know. [pointing an eel at him] Monty: Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Withnail And I. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to drop me a line. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. I demand to have some booze! Withnail: [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] No fridges, no televisions, no phones. *Arrrgh*! I mean, look at us! I happened to be looking for a suit for the Coalman two weeks ago. The cottage. Withnail: - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. Danny: Who fucks arses? To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. Scrubbers! Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. The bastard's about to run at me! Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. If you can't find anything, bring in the shed. We mean no harm! We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Brings back such memories of Oxford. I tried not to. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. Trying for even more advantage. Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. Tea Shop Proprietor: Your email address will not be published. Withnail and I Quotes [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. Here, I dont want it. [reading graffiti] Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Jake: *Scrubbers*! We might wanna do a film in here. Withnail: I must be out of my mind. [eyes filling with tears] He won't gore you. I say, you know what we should do? A coward you are, Withnail, an expert on bulls you are not! 1 comment. You got a rush. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. Withnail: [smiling] grant . I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. Cooking's one of the natural instincts. I could hardly piss straight with fear. Withnail: When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Look at that, accident black spot! Very, very foolish words, man. When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the f***ing news. Curious Myths of the Middle Ages by Sabine Baring-Gould - Complete text Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. Marwood: Burnt! "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. Danny: Withnail & I (1987) - Quotes - IMDb C*nt give him two years. Marwood: I've no idea, I've never met him. Would you like a drink? You hold it down, I'll strangle it. Withnail: Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: The carrot has mystery. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. [narrating over scene] Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Give me a downer, Danny. Withnail: There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. What have you found? They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . You mustn't blame him. You're not in the same boat. Stop saying that! You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. Prostitutes for the bees. You just wait. Withnail: I'm not gonna understudy anybody. Because I don't advise it. Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? No, I'd better go. Why doesn't he retire? Be seated. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? It's the only solution to this intense cold. And how dare you tell him I love you?! I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". Withnail: Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Marwood: I don't advise a haircut, man. I really don't want you to. Marwood: All right here? Jesus Christ. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Hare. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Youre not in the same boat. Withnail: When I strike they won't know what hit them! I can never touch meat until it's cooked. [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! I can never touch meat until it's cooked. A little before your time. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Withnail: Marwood: Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. I'm gonna be a star*! This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. He's lent us his cottage. I adore you. Imagine the size of his balls. Who f***s arses? Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Danny: He says he wont come in for lunch without an apology. He'd like a bit of pleading. The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare.