I I Been dating this guy for a month and a half I decided to have sex with him now I feel he dont want me me anymore I text him he respond to my text two days later but he call and apologize for not responding to me I call he didnt answer I call from another number he answer he said I will see you later when I get back I said no he said yes I hung up Its two havent heard from him Im I moving to fast or is he not ready yet I ask to talk but got no answer what should I do. I know I will have to change my way of thinking but when would it be considered excessive? Not all widowed men behave like this and those who do really shouldnt be given much slack. I know it wont be easy. Those who feel they are consistently lonely have a 14 percent higher risk of suffering from an early death . His older daughter had just married and, with her husband had been given a plot of land on which to build a house, by her in laws. You deserve better and you will find it. You should do what you feel works best for you. What a joke! His pronounced lack of communication with you seems to indicate that perhaps he has moved on from the idea of you and he, but I am not a fan of reading into things because you can be wrong as often as you are right. If Im honest a small spot in the back of my mind always thought a thing such as this is not meant to last. Not an identity I am content with. Thats normal and healthy and what was right for you. When we firsts meet each other her home was dedicated to the deceased. We are each others best friend and its like a fairy tale, as cheesy as that sounds. Some people are just not nice people. Both things can be difficult enough to manage without the added complication of not really being able to have a frank discussion about the needs and wants of both parties. He and his son just stayed in our country for 2 weeks and we met a week before they were about to leave. I dont know why but I do believe its because he still feels married to his late wife :(. Ensure that your new partner will be able to handle the fact that youve been married before and will continue to love your former spouse. I love him with all my heart and would do anything for him and he knows it. We know the meaning of the love till death, sacrifice, compassion and lot more than other people dont. What do you want? He has some small personal items and momentos, and a plastic storage container with clothes that his daughter is supposed to take. Can the person visualize you two being exclusive? Considering how me and the widower cant seem to let go. Its no trick to love someone and stay together when things are going as you want them to. I expect that from here on out we spend every night falling asleep in each others arms Is it not the breath of life? Perhaps another conversation with your guy is in order?Be honest about your fears for the future. I believed him when he told me loved me and wanted to marry me. HIS PEOPLE, FAMILY, FRIENDS, IS HIGH ON THE TOTEM POLEHE HASNT HUNG OUT WITH MY PEOPLE AND FRIENDS..FOR INSTAMCE..HE WASNINVITED TO COME, FOR THANKSGIVING, BUT ASKED TO ME CHANGE CHANGE IT THIS ONE TIME.SHE GOT TO CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAYI CANTHE WANTS TO GO A MONTH EARLY..SHE DIED 9NYEARS AGO ON HIS BIRTHDAY AND HE AND THE BITCH SISTER IN LAW GOES EVERY YEAR ALONE. However he has not ever said he loves me (says it took him 10 years to tell his wife that) and a photo of her is on the living room wall as well as a family photo overlooking his/our bed. Grief is persistent. Does my widower still love his late wife? Yes, and he is definitely devoting a lot of his time to his kids. It is mere speculation that he was one, but I think the evidence his parents are Narcissists is pretty strong. Love is an essential part of life. He might not be on board but he needs to know if you guys in order for you both to have a discussion about where you see the relationship going and perhaps establishing a timeline for getting there that is mutually agreeable. I expect you follow through in what you have told me. my space in his heart is not less important than hersit merely came second but he let me know I am not second best which was what I needed to know. Falling in Love Four questions with 'Dear Abby' columnist, Jeanne Phillips. But before all of this, you need to decide if this is what you want. Youve been dealt a difficult romantic hand. I am so in love with him and I told him that and he said he knew and a part of him loved me too. its one day at a time and one step at a time but we both know our journey is on the same path. He was married for 27 years. It'll get better. And then they're a year or two in and nothing's changed, he points out. He feels he hasnt many years left on earth because of genetics and both parents dying at 60. Ann you were so right I think he wanted to walk out clean. After 3 months we had a fight because i have asked him to spend some quality time and we had a fight because.of.his daughter he had litrelly compared.me with his LW like things she use to do so i should do.the same, while he was already aware i have a problem with his pastnow after living with him and his family for 4 months came back.to my parents house as i.can.not.stop thinking about.his past as.in.one way.or.other.i.felt.i get compared and he ask me to do things where says he.likes.his wife.to.do but.in.real he want.me.to do because she use.to.do.that. I truly enjoyed our conversations and we had so much in common. It is difficult when the widowed partner engages in obvious behaviors that show their continuing emotional involvement with their late partner via anniversaries or memorabilia. 5 things a sex therapist wants you to know, A dating expert reveals how to find love and make friends when you're over 50, Ed Sheeran's emotional reunion with Shane Warne's children, He was the ultimate cricket legend, but to his three kids Shane Warne was just Dad, Where you can watch the Emmy award-winning drama Succession in Australia, Delta Goodrem's new starring role sees her make a return to acting. Remember, these two men have hopes and dreams of their own. When they came over they children went nuts. 5. We talked and talked about grief and love and expectations as I needed to be sure he loved me and didnt just need and want a replacement. Youre also not a consolation prize though I know its hard not to feel like that. Moving into a new house! I want to let go of my fears and run headlong into your arms. i too, bristled at the opnion, but after 4 years, and 8 years of his wife passing, i had to say, im sorry, i dont have that kind of patience, this isnt what i need or want in my life. I am not disagreeing with you about the pics and what they imply to a new love in terms of readiness and respect, nor that they send contradictory messages. I think that you should expect to be treated well, respectfully and lovingly by someone who claims to love you. There were many of times where I choose to walk away(knowing we were becoming too close). Youve talked with him? He asked once if I would move in with him when I moved back home..that convo dissapated. I thought we were happy. So Im not sure what to make of it. I practically live there now the way it is. I have been seeing a wonderful man who lost his wife 4 years ago unexpectedly. He wont admit this but I know it is true. This means risking and perhaps he isnt worth that risk. All I know is that he is a planner, and does have his own timeframes for the things he does. Through therapy, contemplation and a few dates with a sweet, gentle and understanding man, however, she realized she needed to be more open. Why not? Dont pressure yourself unnecessarily. Closed group and there are many women there who will get exactly what you are feeling. We both had agreed we wanted to also date again. It was a difficult time for him but I knew he loved me throughout. We kept in touch, met once for drinks, caught up, and became great friend confiding in one another. 10 months. When dating a widowed man, it's best to leave your judgment at the door. Im afraid to ask him because if I hear the wrong answer, I dont know what I will do. Her sister has told me she was a tanrtruming brat from the womb onwards. "They will never forget her, and you shouldn't want them to, but that doesn't mean she has to be discussed daily or that her mementos and photos adorn every wall in the house," Annie says. i pray everyday for god to show me what to do..My bf always says please just wait it will get better.my heart aches everyday missing him and wanting to hold him and just to see him for five minutes would be amazing. I expect you do what you tell me youre going to do. The thought of falling in love terrifies me. I would think those gentlemen who are patient and understanding of these firsts, may heed rewards. The profile pic topic never came up because the conversation we had made it seem so trivial as my understanding of his perspective widened to a much greater degree. The first anniversary of her death was a few days later so even though it shocked me a little to see the pic I understood it was his way of paying remembrance to her and the two special dates. Ann, thank you for your response. If you dont like it, no contact with the grandchildren. The grandparents are the real problem. I deeply disliked her remains in the wardrobe. Oh, and thanks for your thoughts with me and those you present on your site. But it is not out in the open, it is stored away in my closet and I never pull them out. Sigh, I dont think its just a widowed thing or even a dating a widowed thing. Look, relationships/love are a risk. She offers private coaching and retreats to support her male and female. The only thing that helps with that really is time. Recovering after such a significant loss will take time, and they might want their next relationship to advance slowly so that they can be sure of things. His facebook profile pic. Pictures drawn at school of me and mom together father day cards and letters. I dont know how to digest this. So sitting down with someone is a great idea but she wont follow through with things anyway.. And things will work out. In theory, you guys should be able to sit down, discuss where you both are at and come up with a mutually agreeable plan for moving towards what you both want. I dated and was even engaged to a widower. Its difficult to put aside that training to jump through hoops and prove ourselves. Do I move on.When I said to him I loved him he did not reply.When I pushed a bit more he said he did not know how he felt.